Over the Rainbow
by robinwritesallthethings
Summary: Robin vacations in Woodstock and meets the man of her dreams. The cover for this story is fanart by the massively talented vendekk from Tumblr.
1. Chapter One: A Land That I Heard Of

**Warnings: Emotional Abuse**

* * *

I'm stuck in a car with my mother, my two aunts, my grandmother, and my great-aunt.

We're driving to Woodstock. Suddenly it's a place they claim they've always wanted to visit.

The fact that they all seem to agree on something should give me pause more than anything else. They rarely get along.

I honestly think it's just an excuse to get me to go on a trip. It's been years since I visited my mother, and even longer since I've seen the rest of them.

Not that that makes their choice of destination make any more sense. I've never particularly wanted to visit Woodstock. At least I'm a liberal. They're certainly not. Maybe they think the town will appeal to my political sensibilities.

I know what people would say if they could hear my thoughts. I should be happy that I have a big family. I should be happy that that family wants to see me. I should be happy that they put so much effort into planning a holiday for all of us.

But I'm not happy. I know that it won't be long before this vacation turns into a massive critique of my life. They'll go over what I've done wrong, which is everything, and how I could have fixed it if I had just listened to them. They'll tell me what I have left to do and how to do it right. They'll reminisce about everything I might have done if I had only been prettier, smarter, or more athletic than I am. Ultimately, this whole excursion is just a front so they can tear me down and build themselves up.

If I could have refused, I would have. But I've finally run out of excuses, and I've never been brave enough to tell them the truth, so I just said yes.

So here I am, in a rented car, on my way to a rented cabin, obligated to spend the next two weeks with my family whether I like it or not.

What have I gotten myself into?

* * *

We don't linger at the cabin long once we arrive, thank goodness. It's a beautiful day, and they all want to go shopping and stock the kitchen. I don't mind; it might give me some time to get away.

When we get to town, there's some sort of protest going on. My mother is immediately leery; she takes my grandmother's arm and leads her to the nearest store. She tries to grab me too, but I wave her away, promising to catch up.

It's Woodstock, right? I should get the feel for the place, since I'm here.

I wander through the little square in the center of town, looking at the signs. They're protesting the war. The people holding them smile and wave as I walk by, and for some reason, I can't resist smiling and waving back. Maybe it's just being in a place where no one knows me.

Being able to escape the person I feel like I'm supposed to be would be nice, even if it's only for a little while.

As I'm lost in my thoughts, a deep voice speaks behind me. "Would you like to sign the petition?" it asks. I turn to look for the person the voice belongs to and respond, but when my eyes finally find him, I can't form words for a moment because he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

His dark brown hair is tousled, and his hazel eyes are warm as he grins at me. He has a full, thick beard that matches his hair; it's streaked through with silver and not doing anything to hide his incredible dimples. The first few buttons of his plaid shirt are undone, revealing an alluring trail of curls that must continue down his chest.

"Wow." The word escapes me before I can stop it, and then I'm blushing madly. Why did I let myself say that?! I mean, it's the only word that does him justice, but I didn't need him to know!

He chuckles, biting his lip and raising his eyebrows playfully. He's looking at me expectantly, clutching a clipboard and refillable water bottle in his arm; his other hand is in the pocket of his loose, worn jeans.

I should probably stop staring at him and say something before he decides that I'm a total idiot. He asked me a question, right? What was it?

I shake my head to clear it. "I'm sorry. What?" I stammer nervously, completely embarrassed. His grin gets bigger, but I get the distinct impression that it's not at my expense. He just seems happy.

"Would you like to sign the petition?" he repeats. "To bring our troops home?"

"Oh!" I reply. I mean, I should have guessed, right? "Of course." He hands me the clipboard and a pen and I sign my name. My cheeks are still hot. I don't know why I'm reacting like this; a man who looks like he does would never be interested in me, and I'll probably never see him again after today anyway.

He takes the clipboard back; I smile anxiously, starting to move away, but he slips his hand out of his pocket and grabs my wrist gently. I look at him in surprise. Does he want something else?

"Got somewhere to be?" He's still grinning, and his dimples are completely distracting. Normally I get defensive and brush guys off; I've been hurt enough to not want to take chances anymore. But I feel disarmed, and instead find myself answering him truthfully.

"Not really." I'm certainly in no rush to get back to my family, but I didn't come here to spend time with strangers either. "But I don't want to bother you while you're trying to collect signatures," I admit sincerely, gesturing at the clipboard. He laughs. He's adorable when he laughs, I notice. His eyes crinkle and light up as he scrunches his face together. I'm having a hard time deciding how old he is because his features are severely throwing me off.

"Everyone here signed a long time ago. You're the first new signature I've gotten in months," he confesses, prompting me to laugh along with him. He slips his hand down and intertwines our fingers, and I find myself letting him. He's so genuine that I'm having a hard time feeling cautious. "I haven't seen you around here before," he adds. "I hadn't heard of anyone new moving into town."

"Oh, I don't live here," I reveal a little regretfully. "My family and I arrived this morning. We rented a cabin out by the lake for two weeks."

"That's great! The lake is beautiful." He pauses. "Two weeks, huh? That's plenty of time to get to know someone. Think you'll be able to get away once in a while?" His eyes sparkle hopefully and I find myself just staring at him once more.

Is he serious?

"Why?" I blurt out, squeezing my eyes shut immediately after. Why can't I control my mouth around him?

When he touches my face, I open my eyes slowly to look at him, hoping that I don't seem like the proverbial deer in the headlights. He's standing very close to me; I can feel the warmth radiating from his body, and when I take a breath, his scent surrounds me. I smell wood and wood stain and natural musk; for some reason, I find it soothing.

He bites his lip again, the clipboard and water bottle clutched between his elbow and his side while his thumb strokes my cheekbone. "Because I like to get to know new people," he teases. "What's your name, new person? I'm Jude Fisher."

I've blushed more in the few minutes I've spent with him than I have in my entire life. I lift my free hand, cupping his elbow to steady myself. "Robin Ballard." My voice is soft and breathy. I've never sounded like this before! What in the world is wrong with me?! "It's nice to meet you, Jude."

He licks his lips and beams at me. I've never met someone who smiles so much. It's impossible not to be cheerful around him. I sigh as his fingers curve around my cheek. "It's nice to meet you, Robin." He pauses, looking me over before he presses on. "Named after nature," he muses. "That must be why you're so naturally beautiful."

I can't help giggling. He's so earnest that I know he's not making a joke, which is insane. Not only is he completely wrong about me, but I didn't think people who actually said things like that existed. I dip my head shyly. "Well, I wasn't named after nature. I was named after a baseball player," I counter. "But I like your flattering interpretation better."

"I'm just telling you the truth." He winks at me before something over my shoulder draws his attention. "I think someone's looking for you." I turn. Sure enough, there's my mother, calling my name. She hasn't seen me yet.

"I better go," I decide reluctantly. I think about asking if I'll see him again, but I'm sure he's just having a good time and flirting in the moment. It's a nice feeling, but it doesn't mean anything. Especially since he's extraordinarily handsome and I'm just me.

I start to pull away, but he tugs on my hand, not letting me leave just yet. "Hey," he tells me. "I'll see you around, okay?" I think about objecting, but that thought leaves me completely when he leans down and brushes his lips against my cheek. I inhale sharply as his silky beard rubs over my skin.

Jude cradles my head in his hand before sliding his nose down my cheek and placing another gentle kiss at the corner of my mouth. When I don't stop him, he turns my head so that our lips meet.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm not the type of person to flirt with or kiss random people. Still, I'd be a fool to pass up kissing a man like him, wouldn't I? I'm on vacation, after all. I should try to live a little, maybe? I'm far too high-strung for anything like this in my everyday life.

He smiles against my mouth, and I hear the clipboard and water bottle fall to the ground as he cups my face and deepens the kiss. I lean into him, clutching the base of his forearm in one hand before putting my other arm around his neck.

His lips are soft and smooth. He moves them leisurely, sweetly, eagerly, against mine, his nose brushing my face tenderly. He keeps opening his mouth just enough to kiss my lower lip sensually; it's like one kiss is really ten strung together. My embarrassment multiplies as I audibly whimper, but he clearly likes it. He pulls me closer, kissing my upper lip now. The sunglasses he has tucked into the vee of his shirt are cold against my skin, but I don't care.

I never want the kiss to end.

Of course, it does. Jude pulls back gradually, kissing the tip of my nose. He smooths an errant strand of hair over my ear before letting go of me.

"I will definitely be seeing you again, Robin," he promises. His voice is husky and his eyes have darkened to the color of espresso. I blush more, if that's even possible, and look up at him shyly.

"If you say so, Jude." My voice is sad. The kiss was wonderful, but I just can't believe him. We had a moment, and now it's almost over.

I wish I could say that was fine with me, but it's really not. He's reminded me of how lonely I am.

He squats to pick up his things; I take the opportunity to turn and weave my way through the crowd back to my family. I take some bags from them, hoping I'm not too red anymore. I'd rather not explain what just happened.

As we walk to the next shop, I risk a glance back in his direction. To my surprise, he's still watching me. He gives me a little wave.

I raise my free hand and wave back, sighing as I realize that those few minutes are probably going to be the best part of this trip.


	2. Chapter Two: Once in a Lullaby

**Warnings: Emotional Abuse, Mention of Alcoholism, Mention of Infidelity**

* * *

That night, I have a hard time sleeping. Part of it is the quiet. I'm used to constant noise, and here, everything is so… still. I actually like it. It's something I could happily get used to; it's just not normal for me.

The other reason I can't sleep is because my mind keeps wanting to relive Jude's kiss.

I'm more embarrassed about the whole situation now that I've had time to think it over. I don't do things like that. Ever. I'm an adult. I'm responsible. I don't kiss strange men I've just met on the street. What kind of woman does he think I am? If I do happen to see him again, what will he be expecting? It's exactly the kind of stressful thinking you're supposed to be able to escape when you go on vacation.

Not that I really anticipated getting away from it anyway. I'm always the one who takes care of everything. I bear all the burdens and solve all the problems. I feel more like my family's wrangler than anything else, and the only explanation I can come up with is that it made me fall prey to the romance of the moment.

Beautiful kisses in the middle of a crowd of people with a sinfully handsome man only amount to something in stories. Real life just isn't like that.

I need to let it go.

* * *

The next day, everyone decides they want to go wine tasting. I don't really approve. I'm not trying to be a saint or anything, but alcoholism runs in our family. My great-aunt in particular is already having problems with it, and I don't think we should encourage her.

I know they won't listen to me, but I bring it up anyway while she's in the bathroom getting ready. As expected, they brush me off, telling me she'll be fine. "I don't think so," I protest. "If I can tell how bad it is and I'm hardly ever around her, all of you should see it even more."

"It's just a few glasses of wine, Robin," my mother retorts. I cross my arms and sigh as everyone joins in and supports her.

I hold my hands up defensively when I can finally get another word in. "You're adults!" I snap, barely keeping it together. "I can't stop you, and I can't stop her, and I don't want to fight. But don't expect me to participate. I'm not going."

Luckily, they don't give me much grief for my decision. I do have a good excuse for getting out of this particular event since I don't drink; I prefer not to tempt fate. I pack everyone into the car and wave halfheartedly as they leave. They'll be staying overnight, so at least I don't need to worry about them driving home.

I sigh again, looking out over the lake. It's another beautiful day, so I may as well try to enjoy it.

I pack a bag with everything I might need, slinging it over my shoulder and heading down the path to the shore. It meanders more than I thought, but for once, I'm not worried about time. I don't have anywhere to be.

I've been walking for a few minutes when I hear someone else coming up the path in the other direction. For a moment, I'm nervous; I am alone, after all. I stop, waiting.

When the person rounds the corner, my heart drops into my flip-flops.

It's Jude.

His face lights up when he sees me, and I freeze, suddenly forced to confront all my conflicted thoughts from last night. I honestly didn't think I'd run into him again, so I never seriously considered what I would say if I saw him, or what I would do if he asked for more than a kiss.

But maybe he's thought it over too. He's probably realized that I'm nothing special and that there's no point in dwelling on me.

Right?

Jude walks over to me, his hands in his pockets. His grin is adorable and just the tiniest bit mischievous. "Hey, Robin," he greets me happily. "I told you I'd see you again." He notices that I'm unaccompanied and inquires, "Where's your family today?"

"They're wine tasting," I stammer, answering automatically, my brain racing to catch up with all of my whirling emotions.

"And you don't like wine?" Jude wonders. How does anyone think around him? The eyes and the dimples and the smile make me feel like I'm blowing a fuse.

"Um, I don't drink," I respond nervously, hoping he won't continue this particular line of questioning. There's far too much family baggage in that explanation. Although I suppose if I want him to leave me alone, telling him my life story would be a good way to make it happen.

"I get you all to myself, then," he states matter-of-factly, as if there's no other course of events this day could take. Before I can say anything else, he's standing in front of me. His hands come out of his pockets to cup my face, and then he's kissing me again.

I suck in a breath as his mouth moves softly against mine, the smile never leaving his face. My deeply buried instincts tell me to give in, but I fight against them so often that I manage to resist this time. My hands flutter anxiously as I try to take a step back, but Jude doesn't let me. He moves one hand and loops his fingers around my wrists, keeping them steady. When he finally pulls away, he takes in my panicked face and strokes my cheekbone gently.

"What's wrong?" he asks curiously, staying close to me. I'm very aware that he can feel the trembling in my hands as he holds them.

I can't even begin to explain everything that is wrong with this situation. I wish I could be more eloquent, more firm, but all I can manage is a rushed whisper. "I don't even know you, Jude."

The words don't faze him. "What do you want to know?"

He moves to my side and puts an arm around me while he waits for me to say more. Being momentarily freed from his gaze means that I can finally speak coherently. Making sure to keep my eyes forward, I huff, "I don't know. Anything? Contrary to what I'm sure I've made you believe, I don't just wander around kissing random men while I'm on vacation." I know he can hear the frustration in my voice, but I don't explain to him that I'm mostly frustrated with myself. What am I doing?

Jude chuckles. "It wouldn't be bad if you did," he informs me. "You're a grown woman; you're allowed to do what you like, aren't you?" He leans his temple against mine and his cheek grazes my skin. He's warm and soft and he smells so good, and suddenly my filter is completely gone and I'm just answering him truthfully.

"It's not responsible, Jude. It gives the wrong impression." I cross my arms worriedly, trying to edge away from him, but he clasps me gently against his body.

"I don't think so," he soothes me. "You like to feel good. There's nothing wrong with that. You're on vacation, Robin. Just relax."

I laugh bitterly. "Relax. Right. I never relax, Jude. I can't. There's always something new to worry about. It never stops."

Jude squeezes my shoulders comfortingly, feeling the tension in them and turning me to face him again. "Who takes care of you, Robin?"

I blink. I don't think he has any shame at all. "Do you always ask strangers such invasive questions?" I accuse him, biting my lip immediately after. I know I'm being too harsh, but once again, he doesn't seem to mind.

"I do if I want to get to know 'em," he replies playfully, winking at me.

I'm disarmed by the silence. Finally, I reluctantly murmur, "No one takes care of me, Jude. I take care of everyone else. All the time." My voice is heavy with the weight of my words, and my lower lip quivers because I want to cry. I never cry in front of people. I certainly don't want to cry in front of him.

I'm afraid to look up because I think his warm hazel eyes will set me off. Why did I have to run into him again? Why couldn't I have just remained the enigmatic woman he kissed at a Saturday protest?

He coaxes my chin up with his long fingers, and I feel the tears well up in my eyes. "Oh, Robin," Jude hums sadly. "Come here." He slips the bag from my shoulder and sets it gently on the ground, then he pulls me into his arms. I give in, wrapping mine around his neck as I start to sob.

Jude doesn't say a word. He just holds me. I have no idea how long we stand there, but when I finally calm down, he turns his head and presses a kiss to my hair. "Feel better?" His voice gets husky as his fingers trace my jaw.

I sniffle. "A little," I admit. He uses the collar of his shirt to wipe the rest of my tears away. Then he leans down again, his mouth hovering over mine. "Jude…" I should not. I should not do this.

But he brushes our noses together and kisses me, and it feels so good that I can't do anything but surrender.

This time, I allow myself to kiss him back. He makes a sound in the back of his throat as I pull his head down to mine, standing up on my tiptoes to make the kiss as deep as I can. Jude grips my waist, running his hands up and down my sides. As the kiss continues, he traces his tongue over my lips and squeezes my breasts; that's what finally prompts me to pull away.

Jude lets his hands drop back to my waist. He kisses both of my cheeks and my forehead before leaning down to pick my bag up. "Come on," he instructs, starting to walk and tugging me along with him.

"Where are we going?" I'm barely managing to keep up with his long strides. He slows down courteously, pulling me closer.

He winks at me. "I'm taking you to a party."

* * *

He wasn't lying. When we arrive at the house, there is definitely a party going on. People are drinking, smoking a wide variety of substances, and, to my surprise, lounging around nude. Jude chuckles when he sees me raise my eyebrows, keeping his arm around me as he leads me inside.

"Is this your house?" Looking around, I'd guess that a woman lives here, but I don't want to assume.

"No, this is Grace's place," he tells me easily, as if I'll know who Grace is. "She's around here somewhere. I'll introduce you if we run into her. For now…" He stops in the middle of the floor, turns, and takes me in his arms. "Let's dance."

There's music playing, and a few other people are dancing, but it still makes me self-conscious. I hang back reluctantly for a moment, but then he leans down and kisses me softly. When I melt against him, he gathers me closer, bending down so his lips are near my ear. "There you go. Just relax, Robin. And talk to me. Tell me what's troubling you."

I hold onto him, shaking my head against his cheek. "You don't want to hear about my problems, Jude. All I have are problems."

"Try me," he urges, rocking me back and forth. We're not in rhythm with the music at all, but it doesn't bother him.

He waits patiently until I'm ready to talk, like he has all the time in the world. Every few seconds, he presses a sweet little kiss to my skin, and finally I break. In a voice that's just loud enough so he can hear me, but no one else can overhear, I start to tell him everything.

I tell him about my childhood, which was largely overshadowed by my mother's affair with the man who eventually became my stepfather and my parents' divorce. I tell him about taking care of my brothers while my parents shuttled us back and forth between them, refusing to talk to each other. I tell him about my father revealing my mother's affair to me when I was fourteen, not realizing that I'd already known. He told me to keep it a secret from everyone, and I've always resented him for it. I tell him about signing my mother and stepfather's marriage certificate because I felt like I had no other choice and how guilty I've felt about it ever since.

I tell him that I'm afraid I don't really know myself or what I want. I tell him how judgmental my family is about every choice I've ever made, which is why I don't want to spend any time with them. I tell him about always having to be the responsible one and take care of everyone.

Jude doesn't say anything; he just listens. I feel so safe wrapped up in his long arms. In a moment of extreme weakness, I even tell him my most secret wish, which is to have someone take care of me. I also tell him how selfish I feel whenever I think it.

When I start to cry again, he turns my head into his shoulder and neck so that no one can see. That's when he finally speaks.

"I'm sorry for everything you've been through, Robin," he starts. "But it's made you the person you are, and I think that person is someone worth knowing." He presses his forehead to mine so he's looking into my eyes. "Have you ever considered letting it all go and just living an easier, simpler life?"

"I don't know how to do that," I confess.

"You can learn," he suggests. "While you're here, let me take care of you. See what it can be like."

It's a tempting offer. He's so calm; nothing seems to upset him. I believe he could take care of me. I really do. But I don't understand why he would want to. Even if I could understand, that's not my biggest worry.

I bite my lip and tears well up in my eyes again. Jude cups my face in his hands and I hold him tight. I'm afraid to say what I'm thinking, but I've already said so much. I can say one more thing, can't I?

I try to hold back, but when he looks at me imploringly, I give in.

"And what happens when it's over?" I choke out. "When I go back home and you're gone and it's all up to me again? I'll be worse off than I was before. When you kissed me yesterday, it was wonderful, but when it was done, all I could think about was how lonely I am. I'm not built for something short-term, Jude. I need to know what it means. I need to know what comes next. And that's not fair to ask."

"Maybe not yet," he agrees. "I don't think a lot about tomorrow. I try to live in the moment. But there are a lot of moments between this one and two weeks from now. You'll never know what could happen if you don't try."

I bury my face in his shirt and he puts his arms around me. I know that he's right. If I say no, I'll spend my two weeks here miserable, and by the time I let that sink in, it will be too late.

So I take a shaky breath, raise my head, and nod. "Yes."

Jude smiles and leans forward to kiss me gently. Then he takes my hand and starts to lead me back outside. On the way, he grabs a blanket from the back of the sofa. This time, I don't ask him where we're going; I just let him lead me. His smile broadens when he realizes, and I blush.

He takes me to the lake. It's almost dusk; I hadn't realized that we were at the party that long. The water is still and lit up with bright colors. Jude spreads the blanket out on the ground for us to sit on. He puts his arm around me and I curl into his side, my head resting against his shoulder.

"It's beautiful," I observe quietly. Jude turns his head and kisses my hair. I look up at him and he smiles down at me.

"Yes, it is," he teases. I blush more deeply.

"You're not talking about the water," I point out carefully.

"Nope."

We're both silent for a moment, and then I ask, "So how do you do it? You're so laidback and carefree."

Jude moves so he's sitting behind me, spreading his legs and pulling my back close to his chest. He deftly undoes the bun at the nape of my neck and then starts to massage my shoulders. I sigh with relief as my muscles unknot under his skilled touch.

"First, you need to relax physically," he advises me softly. "You wear your hair too tight, and you hold yourself so stiffly." His fingers stroke up my spine all the way to the base of my neck and I shiver. "Just… let it go, Robin. Relax," he encourages me.

I grimace. "This is about as relaxed as I get, Jude," I acknowledge. He increases the pressure as he continues to rub my neck and shoulders and I bite my lip to suppress a moan. His hands feel amazing.

"Well, we'll have to work on that," he murmurs, sweeping my hair to the side and starting to kiss my spine as his hands move down my back, pulling my t-shirt up so he can touch my bare skin. My back arches nervously and Jude hums soothingly against my neck.

"None of that," he admonishes me gently. "Just concentrate on the way it feels. Don't worry about it. Just enjoy it." I try to obey, my brow furrowing. He pulls me until my back is resting against his chest and my head is on his shoulder, then smooths his fingers over my forehead. "None of that either." I breathe deeply, feeling my eyelids getting heavy. It's been a long time since I've felt this calm.

"When was the last time you had a good night's sleep, Robin?" Jude's words are barely audible as he cradles me in his arms.

"Define good," I sigh, my eyes flickering open so I can look at him. He smiles, tracing his fingers down my jaw. "I toss and turn a lot," I add. "I can't shut my brain off. The instant I lay down, I start to worry about everything."

"That won't do," he decides. "Come on." He lays down in the center of the blanket and pulls me against him, positioning me so my head is resting against his chest and shoulder and his lips can reach my forehead. He puts one long arm around me, pulling the sleeve of my t-shirt up so he can stroke my skin. I slide one hand into his hair, running my fingers through it lazily, and put the other over his heart. He clasps that one in his and kisses my forehead. "There you go," he praises me softly. "Now, I want you to focus on my voice, okay? Don't think. Just… listen."

"We're sleeping right here?" I can't help wondering. "We're outside."

"Where's your spirit of adventure?" Jude laughs. "We'll be fine. The nights are warm lately, and there's nothing in the woods big enough to eat you." I snort as I snuggle closer to him. He's warm and solid, but in a comforting way. "I'll protect you," he assures me seriously. "I promise."

"Okay." I'm too tired to argue. I close my eyes, surprised when Jude starts to sing softly. I remember what he said and try to concentrate on just his voice. I don't recognize the song he's singing, but the words are nice.

 _I got a peaceful easy feelin'  
_ _And I know you won't let me down  
_ ' _Cause I'm already standin'  
_ _On the ground_

 _And I found out a long time ago  
_ _What a woman can do to your soul  
_ _Aw but she can't take you any way  
_ _You don't already know how to go_

He keeps singing the same two verses over and over again. It's working. I'm being lulled to sleep by the sound of his beautiful, deep voice; I can feel the vibrations of the music as they rumble through his chest. His fingers move, caressing me soothingly, his lips barely brushing my forehead as he sings.

Eventually, the words stop and he's just humming. All I can hear as I drift off is his voice, the lapping of the water against the shore, and the beating of his heart.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three: Dreams That You Dare to Dream

 **Warnings: Age Gap, Body Insecurity, Skinny-Dipping, Tantric Sex, Vaginal Sex**

* * *

I don't usually sleep through the night. I always wake up a few times to toss and turn, and then it takes me a while to calm down again. But when I open my eyes, the sun is just starting to rise, and I'm still curled up in Jude's arms. I've barely moved at all.

I realize that I feel wonderful. My muscles are loose, and my skin is warm thanks to the sun and Jude's body pressed up against mine. I actually feel well-rested.

Jude is still dozing. I tilt my head so I can look up at his face. He really is an extraordinarily beautiful man, and it's even more obvious when he's peaceful like this. For the first time, I notice that his eyelashes are long and thick, and that there are very subtle streaks of silver through the hair at his temples.

He stirs and his shirt bunches up, revealing his stomach. It's just a tiny bit rounded and covered in dark hair; I can't resist sliding my hand over it. His skin is incredibly soft, and I make a sound that's closer to a purr than anything else, squeezing the back of his neck as I kiss the part of his chest that's exposed by his half-unbuttoned shirt.

Jude's hand slides into my hair and he hums happily. "Good morning," he murmurs, squirming a bit as I continue to touch his belly. "That feels nice."

The moment is interrupted by my stomach growling, and we both start to giggle. I sit up, pushing my unruly hair out of my face. "Sorry," I apologize sheepishly. "I haven't eaten since before I saw you yesterday."

He sits up too, cupping my face in his hands and kissing my forehead. "My fault. I should have fed you."

I laugh again, blushing as he kisses my cheeks and then my mouth, pulling me into his lap and holding me close. "You make me sound like a goldfish," I tease. He sucks on my upper lip as he kisses me this time; I fall silent, thoroughly absorbed in the taste and feel of him. Then my stomach growls again. I groan in frustration as Jude chuckles and kisses my neck, burying my face in his chest briefly before grabbing his hands and standing up, pulling him with me.

"Come on," I urge. "Let me make you breakfast. My family won't be back for a while."

"Okay," he agrees. He grabs my bag and the blanket before putting his arm around my shoulders as we start walking. I lean against him, wanting to enjoy his closeness for as long as I can.

My phone rings inside my bag; he stops so I can reach across him and fish it out. I straighten, holding up a finger as I answer. "Mom? Are you back already?" I start to worry my lower lip with my teeth. "I'm just out taking a walk since it's such a nice morning." I listen to her talk and my face brightens. "Oh, okay. You aren't driving home tonight, are you?" I pause as she answers. "Good." I blush a bit at her next words. "No, I just don't want to worry about you." Jude is looking at me slyly, his tongue visible between his lips. "Okay, Mom. I'll see you sometime tomorrow. Have a good day, and say hi to everyone for me. I love you too." I hang up, stepping back into Jude's embrace and dropping the phone into the depths of my bag. "What are you looking so satisfied about?" I poke him playfully and he tilts my chin up so he can give me a kiss.

"They're not coming back until tomorrow?" he wonders. I nod, and I can tell that my smile is lighting up my face. "So I get you all to myself again?" he confirms.

I dip my head shyly. "If you want me."

"I do." He starts walking again, keeping his pace slow. "She said something that made you blush," he observes. My cheeks color again as he mentions it and I shake my head.

"It was nothing. Just a joke." My tone is a little muted, and I know that he's concerned because of the way his arm tightens around me.

"What kind of joke, Robin?" he asks quietly.

I hang my head before finally muttering, "She asked if I didn't want them to come back because I found a summer romance. She was making fun of me, Jude. She doesn't think I'm good enough for anybody, and she's never liked anyone I've been with."

"You could prove her wrong," Jude suggests, smirking down at me.

I know that he's trying to cheer me up, but my reply is bitter. "She wouldn't like you either. Besides, we're not together." He takes a breath like he's about to say something, but I interrupt him before he can speak. "Can we not talk about it, please?" I beg. "I was happy when I woke up."

Jude kisses my forehead. I can feel his frown against my skin, but he doesn't push the subject. "Anything you need, Robin," he assures me.

I retreat into my dark thoughts as we make our way to the cabin. I really do want to spend more time with Jude, but is that a mistake? He's handsome and sweet and wonderful, but it's not like we're going to have any time to get to know each other. Once my family gets back, I'll be spending most of my time with them, and then we'll leave. It's easy for him to be all go with the flow and what happens will happen; he has a life here that he gets to go back to when I'm gone. I'm the one who will be left drifting.

I decide to make something a little more complicated for breakfast to distract myself. I like to cook; I always feel like I've accomplished something important once I'm finished. Jude stands behind me as I pile ingredients on the counter, nuzzling my neck and asking what he can do to help. I give him a small smile and some things to dice up for me.

Not even an hour later, we're sitting at the little kitchen table eating Crab Cakes Benedict. I watch Jude take the first bite. I can tell how good he thinks it is by the look on his face, and that cheers me up immediately.

He notices. "You like it when people like your food." I nod and he grins. "This is really amazing. Thank you."

"You're welcome." We're both hungry enough to stop talking for the next few minutes while we finish eating. After my last bite, I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm used to the things my family says about me, but I still don't like them. And I'm not very good at this whole taking things as they come deal."

Jude reaches out and grabs my free hand, rubbing his thumb over my wrist. "You're doing fine, Robin. I just don't like seeing you upset, especially about something that's clearly not true."

I stand, grabbing our empty plates and moving to the sink to start doing the dishes. Jude brushes my hair back from my neck as he moves behind me. "Hey," he whispers. "Don't avoid me, Robin. Please."

"You don't know me, Jude," I protest again, sinking my hands into the soapy water. "Not really." I bite my tongue so I don't say my next thought out loud.

People who really know me always get tired of me eventually. They never stay.

Jude reaches around me and shuts off the water, turning me to face him and looping my arms around his neck. "My hands are wet," I object halfheartedly; I know he's trying to make me feel better, and I like having him close to me. He just holds me tighter, his arm around my waist, his other hand on my cheek, his nose brushing mine.

"Don't worry about that." He smiles at me, and I suddenly realize that his eyes are wet with tears. "I do know you, Robin," he counters. "There are details missing, sure. I may not know your favorite color or where you went to high school, but those things aren't how you get to know a person. You know a person by seeing how they interact with the world, and I've watched you do that."

I stare up at him. I can't think of any way to reply that will do his beautiful words justice.

"I noticed you the instant you walked into the square that day," he confesses. "You waved and smiled at people you didn't know. You were curious, but not condescending. And when I asked you to sign the petition, you really wanted to sign. You didn't do it just to make me leave you alone. You talked to me, even though you were apprehensive about it. You held onto me when we kissed. And you've kept doing those things as you try to let me in. You're warm and loving; you don't want to be alone, and you don't deserve to be alone. You deserve to be happy." He squeezes my waist in both hands and starts to drag my skirt up with his fingers. "I do know you," he repeats. "So let me make you happy."

His lips meet mine before I can answer, and my mind races as we kiss. The most important question burns on the tip of my tongue.

Make me happy for how long?

His thumbs hook into my panties. I need to make a decision. Do I stop him entirely and tell him no? Do I stop him and ask my questions and try to figure out where this could go between us?

Or do I surrender, let him have me, and forget about the consequences?

Jude pushes my panties down enough so that they fall to my ankles. I hesitate as I think, and then I realize that thinking is exactly my problem.

So I take a deep breath, shut off my brain, and forget about the consequences.

I clutch Jude's shoulders roughly, lifting my feet off the floor and kicking my panties aside, pulling his head to mine to deepen our kiss, smearing bubbles and water through his hair. He moans and squeezes my thighs, his tongue tangling with mine as he pushes against me, covering my body with his.

I whine as he pulls back, grabbing the blanket from the table and moving to the door. I raise my eyebrows expectantly, not trusting myself to speak.

"If you want me," he challenges, "come and get me."

I don't think he expects me to react as quickly as I do. I rip off my t-shirt so that I'm only wearing my camisole and skirt. I don't even stop to grab my shoes. Jude whoops, slipping out of the door just as I reach it, and then he's running down the path to the lake.

I let go and race after him, my feet slipping slightly on the dirt of the path, my hair flying into my eyes. He's never out of my sight, but he's always a little ahead of me. By the time we make it to the shore, he's spread the blanket out on the grass and is waiting with his arms out. I fly into them without hesitation, putting my hands back in his hair and bringing his mouth down to mine, breathing hard.

Our mouths don't part as Jude lifts me up and lays back on the blanket, rolling me underneath him and pinning my hands on either side of my head. When he stops kissing me to look into my eyes, I know he can see the panic beneath the desire. My brain is screaming at me, though I'm doing my best to ignore it.

Don't be an idiot, it says. You can't have sex outside in broad daylight. You shouldn't have sex with a virtual stranger. You ran out of the cabin without shoes, underwear, and your keys or phone. What if you get in trouble? You can still stop this. You can get up and go back and just pretend he doesn't exist for the rest of your vacation.

"Just give in to me," Jude encourages. "Shut everything out but me." He puts his lips to my ear and purrs, "My voice." He nudges my thighs apart with his knees and nestles between them. "My body." He moves his head and presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the hollow of my throat; I shudder violently. "My kiss."

I tip my head back, relaxing until I'm entirely limp beneath him. Energy is thrumming through my veins thanks to our brief run, and I have to fight to keep it in check. Jude smiles against my skin, running his nose over my collarbone, turning his hands over and dragging the backs of his fingers down my arms. "Just relax," Jude hums, "and let me worship you."

He starts to brush his beard sensually over me, following the lines of my collarbone again until he gets to the center of my chest. He kisses the spot over my heart lightly before continuing to my other collarbone, his hair soft and warm. His lips move to my shoulder, and then he trails just the very tip of his tongue up my arm before kissing the center of my palm.

I feel like I'm on fire wherever he touches me, and I can't help squirming beneath him as he teases me. I know that he can feel how aroused I am; my nipples are straining against my bra and shirt and pressing against his chest, and heat is radiating from between my legs where he's resting against me. "Shh," Jude murmurs, kissing my wrist before moving his lips back to my neck. "Relax, Robin. We have all day. There's no need to rush."

Jude's fingers tip my chin up so he can kiss my throat as I swallow nervously. "All day?" My voice quivers as Jude kisses his way to my other shoulder, running the tip of his tongue up my arm to my hand again.

"All day," he confirms. He runs his beard back down my arm to my chest, ghosting it over the swell of my breasts. He presses a gentle kiss to the top of one mound, then the other.

He moves down slowly, kissing my breasts through my shirt and bra. He kisses every inch of them, except, of course, for what I want him to kiss most. Then he reaches underneath my shirt, delicately tugging the cups of my bra down so only the flimsy fabric of my top separates my skin from the air. He blows on each one of my nipples lightly and I moan loudly, twining my arms around his neck and dragging his face down between my breasts.

"I love how aroused you are for me," Jude whispers, kissing all over my breasts again through my shirt, still studiously avoiding my aching nipples. "But be patient, Robin. Just wait."

He sits up and pulls me with him. He settles onto the blanket with his legs spread wide, draping mine over his thighs and nestling me against him. "Take off my shirt," he requests, nuzzling my cheek affectionately. "Touch me like I touched you. Slow. Teasing. Learn my body. Enjoy it."

I nod breathlessly, reaching up and cupping his face in my hands. He smiles as I carefully slide my fingers over his cheekbones, then over the bridge of his nose. I run my hands through his hair, tugging him down so that I can press a light kiss to each of his eyebrows. As I start to touch his beard, I lean forward and kiss wherever I can see silver hair, dragging the backs of my fingers down his neck sensually.

"How old are you?" I ask curiously, gazing up at him, seeing pink stain his cheeks as he reacts to my touch.

"45," he answers easily. Older than I thought, then. Not that that matters. Ironically, age is one thing I'm not self-conscious about. "How old are you?" he repeats my question playfully.

I smile. "27," I respond, kissing the spot just underneath his lower lip and running my tongue over the patch of hair there. He's caressing my arms delicately, and I feel him shiver slightly as my tongue touches his skin. I move my hands just enough to unbutton his shirt, gliding them over his ribs to push the fabric aside.

Jude breathes deeply; I lean up further to kiss each of his dimples, slipping one of my hands into his hair to hold his head steady. He groans as I tangle my fingers in his belly hair and slips his own fingers teasingly under the straps of my camisole and bra, dragging them down so my shoulders are completely bare.

I slip my arms free of the straps before tugging at his shirt; he moves so that he can shrug it off. I take off his belt before pushing him back onto the blanket. I can see that he's hard through his jeans, but I resist the urge to run my palm over his prominent bulge, remembering the way he touched me. He avoided any obvious erogenous zones, so I'll do the same for now.

My fingers dance up his sides and he shivers again as I start kissing my way up his torso, following the trails of hair on his skin. His body hair is thick, but soft, and it smells musky and woodsy. I breathe him in deeply, running my fingers through the hair under his arms as he raises them over his head. I blow gently on each one of his nipples as I pass them, watching the skin around them pebble as they stiffen. It's his turn to squirm just a bit; I smile, biting his neck lightly and chuckling as another groan escapes him.

"Shh," I soothe him, leaning over and kissing his dimples. "Relax, Jude. We have all day. There's no need to rush." His breathless laugh is lost in a deep sigh as I kiss one closed eyelid, then the other, my fingers tangling in his to keep his arms stretched out over his head.

I adjust myself, straddling his belly so I can lean back and look at his face. He opens his eyes when I stop moving. Right now they're the color of milk chocolate. Jude blinks his long lashes as he stares up at me; when I bend down to kiss his cheekbone, he flutters them against my skin and I giggle. "You are an amazingly beautiful man, Jude." His cheeks flush at the flattery.

I let him move his hand so he can touch my face. "You're amazingly beautiful too, Robin." I flush along with him and shake my head.

"You're very sweet." He moves his other hand to my face so he can draw my lips down to his. We kiss lazily, barely moving. When he opens his mouth against mine and just lingers there like he's breathing me in, I whimper and he flips me beneath him again.

"It's the truth," he replies fiercely. "You're perfect. Let me show you."

He starts to kiss his way down my neck and chest again. He lingers between the valley of my breasts for a moment, kissing, licking, and sucking, then he sits up and hooks his fingers into my skirt so he can drag it down my legs and toss it aside.

I bite my lip as I realize that I'm exposed to him. It's been a long time since anyone has seen me like this. I don't have a huge amount of sexual experience, but I have enough to know that sometimes people aren't happy with what they see once you're naked.

But Jude just smiles, wrapping one hand around my ankle and pulling it up to his shoulder while the other runs lightly over the patch of dark hair between my legs. It's damp with arousal. Jude lets his hand just rest there between my legs while he drags the tip of his tongue over my foot and then down my calf until he reaches my thigh. I tremble as he moves his hand to my belly, pressing down gently.

"Don't tense, sweetheart. You'll last longer if you relax." I nod, trying to do what he says as he grins up at me. "I like that you're natural," he observes shyly.

I blush. "You're the only one who's ever thought that. Shaved seems to be the preference, but I feel strange with nothing down there."

Jude tilts his head curiously. "As long as you're happy with your body, it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. He presses a little kiss to my thigh and I prop myself up on my elbows to look at him. "What else makes you self-conscious, Robin?" he wonders.

I bite my lip and look away from him. We might need all day if we're going to start cataloging my physical insecurities. Jude kisses my thigh again and I take a shaky breath. "My thighs are too big," I admit softly.

"Look at me, Robin," Jude orders firmly, moving so that he's stretched out between my legs. He curls his hands around my thighs and starts to rain kisses all over them, his beard's silkiness rubbing over my skin. I watch him, quivering as I feel his mouth all over me. This is erotic. I've never experienced anything erotic before, and I've never wanted someone as much as I want him.

"What else?" he asks, rising up briefly to run the tip of his tongue down my opposite leg to my foot. It's like he's trying to ensure that he's touched every part of me today. Not that I mind. He kisses my toes teasingly, his eyes darkening as he waits.

"My stomach is too big too." My fingers curl into the blanket as he moves between my legs again, pushing my shirt up and exposing the curve of my belly. He peppers kisses all over it, sighing happily.

"Your skin is so soft," he murmurs, kissing his way up over my breasts. This time, he lightly kisses each nipple as he passes. It's not much, but it's enough to send a jolt of pleasure down my spine. I squeal excitedly as I put my arms around him, holding him against me as he arrives back at my mouth and kisses me. "Anything else, Robin?"

"My face isn't pretty enough." I'm surprised at how easy it is for me to admit these things to him. I'm also surprised that those are the only three things I can think of. I honestly thought there were more.

Jude rubs his nose over mine. "None of those things are true, Robin. And even if people say they are, it doesn't matter. All you need to be is you. You're perfect just the way you are. You don't have to meet anyone else's expectations. I know it feels that way, but you're the one who has to live with yourself, not anyone else. If you're happy with who you are, the rest will follow."

His words seem intensely personal, and suddenly I wonder what he's been through. For some reason, I thought he's always been like he is now, sweet and easygoing. But maybe I'm wrong. I reach up and touch his face, tracing my thumb over his lips. "Jude…"

"Later," he promises, like he knows exactly what I'm thinking. "I don't want you to worry right now. I want you to let go and really feel me."

He stands, kicking his shoes off and tugging his jeans and boxers down. My gaze is drawn to the unruly nest of curls between his legs. His cock bounces alluringly, not quite all the way hard yet. He's heavy, thick, and slightly curved. I bite my lip to remind myself to slow down. I want him inside me every way he can be.

I strip my camisole off and unhook my bra, leaning down to kiss his feet while I run my hands over his legs. I kiss up his calf until I get to his knee, stroking the crook with my fingers. Jude wavers on his feet as I switch, kissing down his other calf, making sure that I get a chance to taste every part of him, just like he did with me.

As I start to kiss his thighs, he puts one hand in my hair and the other on my shoulder to hold himself steady. I lick and suck eagerly, leaving red marks all over his sensitive skin. His balls tighten as I run my nose over them. When I press my lips to the underside of his shaft, Jude pants and tangles a hand in my hair, twitching and lengthening as I softly suck his velvety foreskin.

Jude gently pushes me away. "Not yet, Robin."

He sits and pulls me into his lap again. His erection hovers between us; I'm almost touching it, but not quite. He guides one of my arms around his shoulders and places the other on his heart, holding it there and putting his other arm around my shoulders as he presses our foreheads together so we're looking into each other's eyes. "Breathe with me," Jude whispers. "In time with my heart."

I do what he says, breathing in and out with him slowly. Suddenly, the only thing I'm aware of is him. I can't see anything but his face, feel anything but his body, or smell anything but him. My eyes flicker closed as our breathing syncs perfectly. I can feel him getting harder even though he's not touching me; It takes everything I have to keep my breathing steady because I just want to push him down to the blanket and have my way with him.

"Look at me, Robin," Jude urges. I force my eyes back open. When they meet his, I feel like I'm melting into his gaze. He's safe and supportive and everything I've been missing. He runs his hand up and down my back along my spine like he's smoothing all the troubles out from under my skin. My desire subsides to a dull background ache as I lose myself in him.

My body still aches, but I'm also strangely calm. "Inhale when I exhale," Jude says. I switch with ease, breathing him in every time he breathes out.

Being surrounded by him is like drowning, but there's no danger and no urgency, just warmth and pleasure and intimacy.

I have an intense moment of clarity and realize that he's right. He does know me. He sees me in a way that no one ever has. My fingers curl against him and my lip trembles. I've lived my whole life without anyone knowing me like this, and we just met two days ago.

I'm glad that he knows me, but I'm also sad that no one else does.

"It's okay, Robin," Jude assures me. "I know, and it's okay. I'm here. I've got you." He lifts me, laying me back on the blanket and stretching out over me. The head of his cock brushes against my entrance as he sinks between my thighs and my breathing speeds up as he adjusts my body so that my legs are squeezing his hips.

"Keep breathing slowly, Robin," Jude soothes me. "Calm down. It will be better that way." I whimper as he pushes into me, my fingers tangling in his chest hair and the hair on his head as we start to rock together. I concentrate on controlling my breathing just like he said to do.

He kisses my lips, my neck, and my breasts, moving his head between all three spots leisurely as he thrusts in and out slowly. He feels perfect inside of me, especially since the breathing has heightened all of my senses.

I want to feel this way forever.

Of course, it doesn't last forever, but it feels like it does, which is almost as good. In the end, I'm not sure how long we're locked together like that. All I know is that when I start coming, it's the most incredible orgasm I've ever had. I finally really let go, gasping and panting and crying out Jude's name repeatedly, my arms curled under his so I can hold onto his shoulders tightly. He has one hand on the small of my back, lifting me into him; the other is buried in my hair.

He holds out longer than I do, though I don't know how. He keeps rocking into me steadily; each time I think that I'm finished, he makes my orgasm start all over again. He buries his face in my neck and says my name reverently as I shake violently, bathed in sweat. I can hardly hang onto him anymore as we both fall to the blanket, overcome with pleasure. Jude stays on top of me, kissing me desperately, quickening his pace.

It's the first time I've seen him anything other than calm and collected. His hands tremble against my face and warmth blooms inside me as he finally finds release. I hold him tightly to me, my own orgasm finally starting to ebb now that he's experienced his. I tip my head back, letting his head fall to my chest, stroking my hands through his damp hair comfortingly as we both come down from an incredible high.

"Jude…" I breathe, my body heaving against his as we lay tangled together on the blanket. He shakily kisses every bit of my skin that he can reach before managing to lift himself back up to my mouth.

"Are you all right, Robin?" he asks, smoothing my hair away from my face and nuzzling my neck affectionately.

I nod feverishly, still quivering with the aftershocks of my orgasm. "That was the most incredible thing I've ever felt in my life," I admit.

He gives me a very satisfied smile. "Good. That's what I was aiming for." He tries to make his voice light, but it's heavy with pleasure and emotion. I clasp him to me, using my thumb to draw his mouth open just slightly so I can kiss his lower lip, running my tongue over it. He kisses me back eagerly, his heart beating fast.

We kiss and kiss and kiss until we're both entirely relaxed again. I run my hands through Jude's hair one more time. "Lay on your belly," I tell him, kissing his cheek before he obeys. I roll over onto him, letting my fingers dance over his toned arms.

Jude sighs contentedly as my mouth and tongue touch every inch of his back. When I reach the small, I flatten my tongue against his spine and drag it all the way back up to his neck. He shivers as I move down again, going further this time and kissing over the curve of his bottom. He wiggles and laughs as I crawl up to snuggle next to him.

Jude pushes on my shoulder gently, nudging me onto my stomach. "Your turn," he murmurs against my neck. I rest my head on my arms as he repeats my motions with his lips and tongue, squeezing my backside with his big hands as he kisses it. When he's done, I roll back over, taking him in my arms and letting our mouths meet again.

We lay there like that for a while, kissing and cuddling, just enjoying each other. When we finally still, I look up at the sky and realize that it must be afternoon; the sun is well past its zenith.

"How long did we…?" I wonder, laughing happily. I hardly ever lose track of time. It's oddly freeing.

"As long as it took," Jude answers playfully. He stands up, pulling me with him, and gestures to the dock. "Come on. Let's get cleaned up. You can swim, right?"

"I'm not going to win the Olympics, but I won't drown," I quip. Jude laughs and tugs my hand.

"Come on, then." He waits, giving me time to think it over. I'm touched by the gesture, but for once I don't need it.

I start to run, bringing Jude with me. We jump off the edge of the dock, our hands still linked. The lake isn't very deep where we're at, so when my toes hit the bottom, I push back up, breaking through the surface of the water and shaking out my hair. Jude pulls me closer to him, pushing his own wet hair back from his forehead and kissing me. I twine my arms around his neck and enthusiastically return the kiss. The water is warm, and his body is even warmer.

Jude holds me to him, standing up straight in the water. He's about a foot taller than me, so my feet still aren't touching the bottom. "I like this," I confess, kissing his cheek. He scrunches his face up and kisses my cheek in return.

"Me too." I beam up at him. I'm completely sated, which gives me the chance to just enjoy being with him. I can tell that he is too. What an incredible afternoon.

We swim for a while. When the sun starts to go down, we get out of the water and head back to the cabin. Jude slips on his jeans and I take his shirt; he carries everything else in the blanket, his arm around me the entire time that we're walking. I put the blanket in the laundry so he can return it to Grace later and grab a clean pair of panties, but otherwise, neither of us change.

Jude finds a guitar a previous tenant must have stashed in the closet and stretches out on the porch swing, strumming gently and humming to himself. "You play too?" I inquire, coming to sit beside him. He welcomes me into the crook of his arm and nods.

"Yup." He thrums the strings dramatically for effect. "Do you?"

I laugh brightly. "No. My brother knows how, but I never learned. I played the clarinet. If we're using a loose definition of played, anyway."

Jude grins and smooths my hair over my ear. "I could teach you."

"You think?" I tease. "Maybe I'm a bad student."

"You proved that you're a very good listener earlier," he teases back. "What's your favorite song?"

"'Over the Rainbow,'" I answer immediately, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I like that one. For now, I'll play and you sing, okay?" He starts improvising the opening melody.

I blush and shake my head. "I don't sing in front of people, Jude."

"It's not for people," he points out merrily. "Just for me."

I put my arms around him and shyly turn my head into his neck. "All right." It's becoming harder for me to deny him. Part of me likes it. Part of me is afraid of it.

For now, I try not to dwell on it and just focus on the music instead.

He's a good guitar player; the notes come to him easily. I sing softly without really having to think about it; I know the words to this song by heart.

 _Somewhere over the rainbow way up high  
_ _There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby  
_ _Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue  
_ _And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true_

Jude nuzzles me and starts to sing along. My voice is already louder and more confident; I enjoy the song too much to hold back.

 _Someday I'll wish upon a star  
_ _And wake up where the clouds are far  
_ _Behind me  
_ _Where troubles melt like lemon drops  
_ _Away above the chimney tops  
_ _That's where you'll find me_

Our voices blend together nicely. He's clearly not a trained singer, but he still sounds nice. I pretty much sing exclusively in the shower, so we're a good match.

 _Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly  
_ _Birds fly over the rainbow  
_ _Why then, oh, why can't I?_

I squeeze Jude tight as we sing the last verse. He sets the guitar down when we're finished and holds me to him. "What is it, Robin?" He strokes my cheekbone tenderly with his thumb.

I sniffle. "It's stupid." I try to brush it off, but he's not having it.

Jude shakes his head. "No, it's not. Tell me."

I shrug. "I just always wanted to be the bluebird," I finally reveal sadly. "So I could fly over the rainbow and be happy."

Jude kisses my forehead. "You are the bluebird, Robin. You just have to figure out which way to fly." He pulls me into his arms so my thighs are draped across his lap and I snuggle into him as deeply as I can.

I bite my tongue so I don't say what I'm thinking. Instead, I lift my head and pull his mouth down to mine, kissing him softly, slowly. He hesitates for just a moment as if he wants to ask what I'm thinking, but then he just kisses me back.

I can't say it. It's too much. It's too fast.

But I want to say it so badly that the words slip out of my mouth without warning.

"What if I want to fly towards you, Jude?"

He smiles and kisses me again.

"Then I'll be your soft place to land, Robin."


	4. Chapter Four: Wish Upon a Star

**Warnings: Emotional Abuse, Mention of Sex**

* * *

That night, I sleep in Jude's arms on the porch swing. We both wake early, and I'm apprehensive. Jude tries to calm me, but I'm too worried. He gathers his things, taking Grace's blanket as well, and then loops his arm around my shoulders, pulling me back against his chest.

"Will you be all right if I go?" he asks quietly, clearly concerned.

I nod reluctantly. "It will be worse if they find you here," I answer softly, turning in his arms and hugging him as tight as I can.

"I can handle it," he assures me. "If you want me to stay, I will. I don't like you being upset, Robin."

"That means more to me than I can say, Jude," I tell him sincerely. "It's just…" I sigh. "It's them, not you. I don't want you to have to explain yourself to anyone. I know that sounds like me saying I don't want to deal with definitions, or like I'm trying to keep you a secret."

Jude rubs a strand of my hair between his fingers and smiles gently. "I don't mind being your secret," he confesses. "As long as I'm a secret because you want me to be, and not because you think I don't want anyone to know about us, or that I'm ashamed of spending time with you. I know this is hard for you, and I'm willing to give you as much time as you need."

I blush; he's talking like I'm going to be here forever, not just for two weeks. I stretch up on my toes and kiss his cheek tenderly. "I like being in this little bubble with you," I admit. "It's like we're the only two people that exist when we're together."

"I like that too," he agrees, turning his head so he can kiss my mouth. I walk him back outside, wishing that he didn't have to go. If I could spend this entire two weeks with him, I would.

Jude faces me for a moment, slipping one of the beaded bracelets off of his wrist, grabbing my arm so he can carefully put it on mine instead. "I want you to have one of these. I made them both. Whenever you need support, just touch it and think of me, okay?"

I graze the dark, smooth wooden beads with my fingertips. "You made this?" I get a little choked up because I'm touched by the gesture.

He nods. "I'm a carpenter," he reveals. "What, you thought a man could live on protest alone?" I laugh and he grins. "You have a beautiful laugh, Robin," he compliments me, leaning down and kissing my mouth again. "I'll see you later, okay?"

He phrases it like a question, but says it like a promise.

He starts to walk down the path. I cling to the railing, watching him go, and it makes my heart hurt. "Jude!" I call after him, running down the steps as he turns back around. He holds out his arms to catch me as I crash into him, pulling him down for a long, fierce kiss and sliding my fingers into his hair. He kisses me back eagerly, wrapping me up in his embrace.

I don't want to let him go. I want to stay in this moment forever with him and never come up for air.

When I finally do pull away, I press my forehead against his and whisper, "Thank you, Jude. Thank you. For everything so far."

He kisses my forehead sweetly. "You're welcome, Robin. You're welcome."

* * *

By the time my family returns, I've cleaned the cabin, showered, and dressed. I sit and listen to them talk about the winery, fingering Jude's bracelet the entire time. My mother finally asks me where I got it because she doesn't recognize it; I tell her that I got it from a local carpenter as a souvenir. She assumes I bought it, just like I hoped.

We end up going into town to explore. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking for Jude the entire time, but we don't run into him. I do like going into all the shops and seeing what there is to see. I just can't help thinking about how much nicer it would be with Jude. He'd have his arm around me, pointing out things he'd think I would like, and he'd introduce me to everyone.

The practical part of my brain is telling me that I should not be thinking about him this way. I'm going to leave soon, and then he'll just be a memory.

But I've already fallen hard, and now I'm going to have to decide what to do about it.

* * *

That night, after dinner, my family settles in to relax. I decide to go to the lake. Thankfully, they don't offer to go with me. They've got their feet up and their wine glasses full, and the path is a little too much for my grandmother and great-aunt to handle. The lake is another secret I'd like to keep to myself.

I wander to the shore in my bare feet, remembering my run down the path yesterday and playing with Jude's bracelet again. I can't stop thinking about him, but I'm not sure what to do. It's not like I can just uproot my whole life to stay here, and he has a life of his own that I'm sure he doesn't want to leave.

I stop at the end of the dock when I see the silhouette of a person there. As my eyes adjust to the last rays of the sun shining off of the water, I see that it's him.

"Jude?" I wonder. There's no mistaking the sheer happiness that fills my voice at the sight of him. I skip to the end of the dock to join him, sitting down and putting my feet in the water beside his, snuggling into his side. He immediately puts his arms around me, kissing my forehead and then my lips.

"I was hoping I'd see you here," he says cheerily. "How are you, Robin?" He smooths my hair over my ear and then kisses the skin just below where his bracelet is. I flush, my heart racing with excitement.

"I'm better now," I murmur truthfully, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. Jude rubs my back and threads his fingers through my hair.

"I'm glad," he replies. "Tell me what you did today."

I talk about all the places we visited, bashfully explaining why I would have rather visited them with him. He likes that, telling me that he'll show me around again anytime. I gaze up at him, completely enamored by his presence, and finally work up the courage to ask him the question I thought of yesterday during our lovely afternoon together.

"How did you end up in Woodstock, Jude? Were you born here, or…?" He pulls me into his lap before he answers so he can speak quietly into my ear as we watch the sun go down. I lean against him, my back flush with his chest, and rest my head in his neck.

"I was born in New York, but not in Woodstock," he starts. "My parents came here for the festival in 1969 and just never left."

"You must have been young," I observe.

He nods. "I'd just turned three. I really don't remember the festival at all, but I like to think I had a good time."

I giggle. "I bet you were an adorable kid," I tease.

"Aw," Jude drawls, squeezing my waist and kissing my cheek playfully. I reach a hand up and stroke his beard, letting the other drift down so our fingers can tangle together. "I was pretty cute," he confirms. "Definitely cuter than I am now."

"I beg to differ," I counter, gazing up into his eyes. "You are very, very cute now."

Jude winks at me and continues. "I grew up here, but all I wanted was to leave, to be honest. I didn't really appreciate what I had until I didn't have it anymore, you know? Very cliché, but it's the truth. I left when I turned eighteen because I wanted to be a musician."

"You are a musician," I point out.

He laughs. "Not the kind I wanted to be. I wanted to be famous. I knew how to play the guitar already, and I have a decent enough voice, so I did what I could. Played open mic nights in dingy little bars, waiting for a break that never came. Eventually all the gigs dried up. I didn't want to come back home and admit that I'd failed, but I didn't know what else to do. Then I got the phone call."

Jude falls silent and I sit up straighter, sensing the change in his tone and stance. I put my arms around his neck and hold him close; when I raise his head so I can look at him, his eyes are shimmering with tears. "Jude…" I can't stand to see him hurting.

He looks at me sadly. "My parents had died in a car crash. It was nothing spectacular, just an icy country road. So I came back home after all. I barely managed to plan the funeral; I was a wreck. But the people here helped me, especially Grace. They came together and welcomed me like I'd never left. I'm not sure what would have happened to me without them."

"Once I wasn't in a funk anymore, I restarted my dad's carpentry business. I make furniture, mostly, but I can make other things too, and I do a lot of repairs for people free of charge, though they usually give me something afterwards, like fresh eggs or oranges. It's a simple life, I know, but it's one that I've grown to love. Most of the time, I'm pretty satisfied." He stops and stares down at me meaningfully, and I wipe away a tear that's escaping down his cheek into his beard.

"I'm so sorry about your parents, Jude. You didn't have any siblings?" He shakes his head and I squeeze him tighter, wishing he'd never had to go through that kind of pain. I hesitate for a moment, biting my lip. "Most of the time?" I add, wondering what he meant by that.

He appears nonchalant, but he seems like he's trying too hard to look like it. "I'd like someone to share it with," he finally clarifies. "I've been alone for a long time."

I bite my tongue to contain my excitement. It's hard to imagine him being alone by choice. He's so handsome and so wonderful that any woman should want him. I certainly do.

Could I really do it? Could I really stay here with him? I can't even begin to imagine what that would entail.

I think about asking more, but I just hold him instead, tucking his head under my chin and rubbing his back soothingly. Maybe something could happen between us, if he even wants that. But I don't want to bring it up when there's still so much time left for us to spend together.

For now, I'd like to stay in this lovely fantasy we've created. I'll worry about everything else later.

* * *

For the next week, I spend my days with my family and my evenings with Jude.

He's always waiting for me at the lake. Sometimes he's sitting on the dock with his feet in the water. Sometimes he's lying on a blanket he's brought from home. Wherever he is, he welcomes me with open arms.

I'm scared to acknowledge that he's the only thing I've looked forward to in a long time. I've always figured out how I feel about people quickly, but I've never felt like this before, and I don't know what to do. I keep trying to convince myself that he can't possibly want anything besides a few days of fun, but I know I'm only doing that to try and avoid getting hurt later.

If our interactions were only sexual, I'd have an easier time believing it. But most of the time we spend together isn't about sex.

We talk a lot, though we never come back to Jude's admission of wanting to share his life with someone. I know that I'm afraid to ask more, but I find myself wondering if he's afraid to say more too. The questions he asks me aren't casual. They're deep and probing, about my dreams and the way I think.

You don't ask people you only want a few days with those kinds of questions, do you?

After our profound conversations on Tuesday and Wednesday, he greets me on Thursday with a deeper kiss than usual. We rest on his blanket, tangled together, just kissing and touching. I can taste that there are words he wants to say, but I don't ask, and he keeps holding back.

On Friday, we take our clothes off and dive into the water again. He presses me up against the dock and takes me eagerly and urgently, like he's trying to assure himself that I'm real. I hang onto the smooth wood with one hand, my legs wrapped around his waist, my other hand in his hair. I come three times before he finishes.

Jude wraps us up in his blanket afterwards and we stare up at the stars. "Will you be there tomorrow?" He bends his head down to brush his nose against mine and I nod. There's a concert in town this weekend, and my family has already mentioned wanting to go.

"We'll all be there," I confirm. "Will you?"

"I'm playing and singing," Jude tells me.

I smile. "I'll be your biggest fan, then."

Jude kisses my hairline and fingers the bracelet he gave me. I never take it off. "My good luck charm," he decides.

I kiss him one more time before getting up and pulling my clothes back on. He watches me, biting his lip and reaching up to grab my hand. "You can't stay?"

I shouldn't. I want to, but if my mother wakes up and sees that I'm not in the cabin, she might freak out.

But Jude looks so earnest and so forlorn that I can't say no.

I curl up in his arms, holding him tight. "I'll stay, Jude."

He snuggles up against me happily. "Thank you, Robin."

"You're welcome." I stroke his hair soothingly, lulling him to sleep.

A few days ago, I was thanking him, even though I didn't admit how much I want and need him.

It hadn't occurred to me that he might want and need me just as much.

* * *

I stay with Jude all night. He nuzzles me awake just before the sun starts to come up and takes me again. I melt into him, unable to resist. After we finish, we start to go our separate ways so we can get ready for the festival. He hangs onto me for just a moment, kissing me goodbye and telling me he'll see me soon.

I watch him walk the opposite way on the path, wishing that I was going with him.

I'm starting to realize that while the bubble is nice, I want more.

I want everything.

I just don't know how to tell him.

* * *

Luckily, my mother thinks I went out for a morning walk, so I don't have to explain my absence. I shower and change, choosing my outfit a little more carefully than usual. I finally select a linen dress with yellow and green stripes; the top is sleeveless and fitted, but the skirt is loose and flowing. It matches Jude's bracelet nicely. I put my hair up loosely, remembering what he said about me wearing it too tight.

I retreat into my own thoughts as we arrive at the concert, trying to look around for Jude without being obvious about it. I don't see him, but I'm not surprised. I assume he's getting ready. We find seats close to the stage and set up chairs. I didn't bring one; I fold my legs underneath me and sit on the grass, tipping my head back and enjoying the sunshine.

The concert is nice. The music is casual, but good. Two different bands play, both led by female singers with great voices, and then Jude comes out on the stage. He winks at me as an older woman introduces him and I blush, clapping along with the rest of the crowd as he steps up to the microphone.

Jude grins when the applause dies down and bites his lip, his eyes flicking in my direction. "Thank you, thank you," he says humbly, waving a hand at everyone. He seems a little anxious, which is odd. Doesn't he do this all the time?

He runs a hand through his hair and speaks in a rush, like he's trying to get the words out before he loses his nerve. "All right… listen… I met someone the other day who I think is, um, exceedingly special. Uh… and if you'll all indulge me, I'd really like to bring her up on stage to help kick off the first song."

My heart clenches at his words. Who could he be talking about? Hasn't he been spending most of his time with me?

It clicks in my brain just as he says my name and turns his head my way. "Robin," he announces shyly. "Come on up here." He holds out his hand and I shake my head at him reflexively, my cheeks getting redder.

"Is he talking about you?" my mother asks incredulously. I'm glad I'm already flushed, or she would have noticed me react to her words.

Why wouldn't he be talking about me? Even though she doesn't know what's happened between us, aren't I worth talking about?

Jude's grin widens, but I notice that his eyes are a little disturbed. Is he worried that he's upset me? I've just got stage fright. Him asking me to join him is actually completely flattering, and it's a huge step toward what I think I want with him.

Jude runs his hand through his hair again and sheepishly adds, "All right, Robin seems a wee bit shy, so maybe we can show her a little love and give her some support?" The crowd behind me starts to holler and yell my name, and Jude stares at me imploringly.

I can't let him down. I don't want him to think that it's him I'm scared of.

So I get up and walk to the edge of the stage, reaching my hand out so he can help pull me up beside him. His eyes clear and his smile gets even bigger. I can feel my face flaming, but I don't care. He's happy.

Jude puts his arm lightly around my waist and leans into the microphone again. "Thanks, everyone. This is Robin. She and her family are visiting us for this week and the next, so if you see her around, make sure she feels welcome. I want to start today with Robin's favorite song." He shifts his guitar and moves his arm so he can start to play. "It's about dreams coming true, and I think that that's something worth chasing after." He rests his cheek against mine. "Sing with me, okay?"

He stays close as we both start to hum. My voice quavers a bit when I have to form words, but then Jude nudges me gently and I calm down.

I try to tune out the crowd and just think about Jude. Could I really stay here with him? This place is like living in a dream. It's a real community where everyone supports each other. It's a family. It's been kinder to me than the actual family that's only sitting a few feet away.

And what about my life is so great that I couldn't leave it behind? I've been floundering in graduate school for years; I don't even know if I want to stay anymore. I'm not sure what I would do here, but I'm a smart person. I could find something. There's tons of shops to work in, and there could be other opportunities I haven't even thought about yet.

Of course, none of that really matters if Jude doesn't want me, does it? It would be too hard to stay here and see him every day if that's the case.

That thought consumes me as we reach the last verse, and to my horror, I start to tear up.

The last thing I want to do is cry in front of everyone, but it's too late. I manage the final line, but my voice breaks as I begin to sob. The music stops and I turn my head away from Jude, hastily wiping my cheeks.

"Hey," I hear him soothe me softly; his hands cup my cheeks and turn my face to his. I slip my fingers around his wrist. His touch makes me feel so good, and suddenly I'm overwhelmed with the idea that I might lose it.

I open my mouth to say something, anything, but before I can, he's kissing me.

He's kissing me in front of everyone.

He's kissing me in front of my family.

It's a soft, sweet kiss, not ostentatious at all. I gasp when it starts and try to pull away, but Jude holds me to him. He leans back just a bit, then moves in and starts the kiss all over again. I realize that I'm shaking as the audience cheers loudly and I grip the front of Jude's shirt tightly.

I can do this. Ask him if he wants me. Find a way to stay. I can. The risk is nothing compared to leaving this behind and being without him.

Then my mother's voice cuts sharply through the crowd. "Robin, what are you doing?!" she hisses. She gets louder as she keeps going. "This is so embarrassing! Why can't you ever do anything right?!"

My tears return instantly, and this time, I panic.

My mother is right. I don't even know how he feels about me. I shouldn't be kissing him in front of everyone like this.

I'm just fooling myself anyway. I don't have the courage to change my whole life. It's just a dream.

Jude tries to keep me close to him, but this time I pull back hard so I can get away. I cover my face in my hands and blindly run down the stage steps, going behind it so I don't have to make my way through the crowd.

I feel so stupid. I know that the rainbow isn't real. I can't fly over it.

It's better to face it now than to be disappointed later.


End file.
